


Knocked Up and On the Run

by FWvidChick



Series: Doctor Who Oneshots [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Doctor Whump, Gen, Humor, International Fanworks Day 2015, Not Really a Drabble, Pregnancy, but i tried, the ponds - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:53:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3365012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FWvidChick/pseuds/FWvidChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor demonstrates the folly of getting too close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knocked Up and On the Run

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write a proper 100 word drabble but seriously I'm just not wired that way. So here is something that is short for me. 
> 
> Hope it's enjoyed, it was the beginning of a small multi-part fic I realized wasn't going to work. 
> 
> Behind the scene editing issues so bear with me as I fix them.

**Knocked Up and On the Run**

"How is it you can remark on my limited human vision, but completely miss the tall blue alien plant and it's 10 inch impregnating needle? " Rory hissed, clearly a bit mad at their current situation. "Seriously? You had, what? Ten minutes before lectured us on being careful not to get too close. "

The Doctor would have defended himself except he was too busy trying to catch his breath before they had to run again.

"No time for this now. " River whispered. By the hard look on her face, she to was not happy.

"Oi! Stupid face, the moron tripped getting out of _your_ way so you wouldn't bust your head open!"

Ignoring the backhanded defense from the ginger to his right, the Doctor leaned closer to River and whispered. "How's it look?"

Her focus stayed on watching the street while they hid in a tiny alcove, "We've maybe ten minutes before they get to us. They have the crowd separated on either side for up to the blue swirling platform. There isn't a way we can squeeze through this throng without calling attention to ourselves. " He felt her blaster brush his leg briefly as she adjusted her hold on it. "Nor can I shoot our way out of this. Too many innocent bystanders and I don't think this lot would care if they hit anyone."

The Doctor gave a light snort at her self confidence, that she wouldn't be the cause of hitting someone unintentionally. Not to say he wasn't (oddly) proud of her marksmanship.

He quickly glanced at her and sighed with relief that she hadn't seemed to guess at his thoughts. Reassured, he added thoughtfully as another thought hit him. "Maybe calling attention to ourselves is exactly what we need."

All three of them turned to look at him incredulously. "You better not be suggesting what I think your suggesting." Amy began while Rory shook his head. River finished for her so smoothly it was as if the two women were psychically linked at times.

"Sweetie, you are in no condition to make yourself a target -"

"He's already as big as whale." Rory remarked, earning himself a hard shove by Amy. "Ow but he is, how's he suppose to run like that?"

River chuckled, "That actually was my second point. You can't just run into the street, throw your arms up and yell look at me and hope to run to safety. That _barely_ works when you don't have a bun in the oven."

Rory snorted and Amy wore the same aggravating amused know-it-all expression as her daughter. The Ponds were becoming far too good at ruining his plans. "Oi! That wasn't my plan. " he lied, unable to stop himself from scowling at them.

"It wasn't?" River asked, her attention back on the militia hunting them in the crowd.

"No, it wasn't! Though I do have an idea how to divert attention." He was quite happy another idea formed in his head to back up his lie.

"Oh?"

"The inflated Ridoa balloon near the front of the parade, can you hit it from here?"

River momentarily gave the halted parade her attention, noting the rodent shaped balloon he was speaking of. She quickly realized what he intended; shooting the 5 stories tall ballon, igniting the gas above the crowd to give them the diversion they needed.

"Yes, I'll take care of it. You" She turned to him, hand held out for the sonic. "get them out of here. I'll follow the three of you once I know that is _all_ I need to shoot."

He wanted to argue, but she was right. He wasn't really all that up to helping her. Especially as not only was the plant-kind baby sitting on his bladder (hopefully not maturing inside of it), but River was more than capable of handling it on her own. Getting her parent's to safety was something he could do.

With the sonic handed over The Doctor turned to the other couple and quickly explained their plan to get back to the TARDIS.

Less than a minute later River finished the sonic tweaking of her blaster, not really happy since it would likely blow out the cell. Handing him that sonic she asked, "Can you run?"

"Not as quickly but I'll be fine." He replied pretending he wasn't feeling like a stuffed turkey.

River looked him up and down doubtfully before turning to her parents, "When I fire run for the TARDIS, the bang from the igniting gas will happen right after but if the crowd moves first you'll more likely be mowed over. "

"I still don't understand how they can't tell us from their own kind. " Rory complained. Speaking of the natives which were literally yellow and pink plant people.

Playing with some settings on his sonic The Doctor mused, "Scent I wager. All four of us are wearing scents whether cologne, perfume, lotions, deodorant, or even shampoo. Creates quite a cocktail that they probably just see as our natural floral smell. "

"So we're flowers? " Rory asked with an eye roll.

"Yep. "

Amy shook her head, "Doctor we still look nothing like them and they have eyes. Explain! "

"Many things have eyes Amelia Pond, doesn't mean they all see the same way. Don't like being a flower?"

"I'm not a flower just because I smell. "

Rory coughed. "Scottish flower " He earned himself a glare.

"You know what I mean! "

River turned to look at Amy, "Mother, you're a beautiful flower, besides it will help us. " She glanced at her husband. "Just be grateful you're not expecting a plant because the delivery isn't going to be pretty."

It took The Doctor a moment to catch up as he been enjoying the flower talk, well Amy's reaction to it.

"What? " he almost exclaimed a little to loudly. Delivery hadn't occurred to him yet with the whole running for their lives thing.

"Yes dear, delivery and since you're not _appropriately_ equipped you better think of something fast. "

Great, just great! He was up the duff with an alien plant baby, on the run from lizard like militia and soon to deliver said baby from a part of him not meant to give birth, to living beings anyway. All the while he was at the mercy of the Pond family who shared a trait of enjoying the predicaments he got himself in to.

Whatever happened to being the Oncoming Storm? Or just cool? Sauve? or better yet BEING NOT PREGNANT?

* * *

↖(^▽^)↗

Love cookies - kudos and comments! 


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